blog darkness...

words, music, food

A Shining Moment of Blinding Hope...

never walk alone

Another short meditation and remembrance of my friend Paul. I found this in an old notebook I had from when he recorded the Toe Jam demo tapes... it has always brought me comfort and peace (punctuation and capitalization as I found it):

"Trying to think about what to paint colors are so hard to mix unsurrealistically but I have ideas the sun rising over the earth in bright flaming glory ...

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A Better Way... (a song for and by Paul Buddha)

My friend Paul died.  I don't know what happened... how he died, but I know he had struggles.  I recorded an old song of his -- one he wrote many years ago that has helped me through many things in my own life.  I hope it can mean something to someone else too.


Longer version...

My friend Paul Seul (Paul Buddha, as many of us knew him) died recently.  He ...

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Privacy, Security, Empowerment, and Change (...why I'm going back...)

Pigs are on the wing... or hell is frozen over, or some other such metaphor for things that were never supposed to happen. I'm going back to work for a biG Internet company that I left 12 years ago. At the time, I had a variety of personal reasons for leaving, but also I worried about the data stewardship issues that came with one company having so much access ...

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The Colorado River is trying to tell me...

colorado river

The Colorado River is trying to tell me something about time.  That time can and will change me.  That this change is imperceptible in the moment but long lasting, and unpredictable.  Time will affect me in ways that change my landscape, and though it will cut through my soil, and that may be painful, the results may be surprising, and stunning.

The Colorado River is trying to tell me something ...

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Like living on another planet

spaceman

My phone camera doesn't do justice to the alien landscape I found in northeastern Nevada in mid February.  It felt like living on another planet.  But so much of my life does now.  I've made some decisions that feel incredibly heavy, I've hurt someone I love dearly.  I've walked away from some things that I thought were constant and unbreakable, because I found that in making ...

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